In which His Majesty and the Eastside Viceroy make a royal visit to the Petaluma Kitchen

When Sir John Records went to the cupboard not long ago, it seems he discovered, like the old lady who’d gone to get her poor dog a bone, that it was bare. The Committee On The Shelterless, COTS, needs the cupboards not to be bare. Because they put together food boxes to deliver to the needy. The food boxes need to be filled with food. Times being what they are, there’s a lot more folks needing those boxes. Something like 20 or 25 MORE folks per month than there used to be. And that number is likely to go up, not down in the near term.

So when Sir John asked for help, something like 600 emails started flying around Petaluma’s cyberspace. When His Majesty got one [emperornortonii@sbcglobal.net] he assembled the royal court for a trip to Petaluma Market. With an intern, of course, to carry the bags.

Next the Royal IT Person wrote an email to His Majesty’s westside neighborhood. Frank Simpson, recently appointed Viceroy of the Eastside, did likewise on the eastside of town. East meets West. Hands across the freeway. That sort of thing. Anyway bags and boxes of food began to appear on the front porch of the Royal Castle.

On the appointed day, Viceroy Simpson and His Majesty met at the Petaluma Kitchen to turn over the booty to Sir John Records, who put it to good use. The visit was photographed by the royal paparazzi. In addition to the groceries donated by the eastside and the westside, Sir John informed us that the Grocery Outlet had given COTS a $500 shopping spree to help fill the cupboards. Nice show, G.O. Way to go Sonoma County. The times being what they are, the COTS cupboards are sure to empty out as fast as they get filled. So don’t hesitate to buy some extra pasta, rice, beans, pasta sauce, breakfast cereal or canned goods and swing by the Petaluma Kitchen on your way home. It’s gonna be a long, hungry recession. HELPCOTS.ORG. Viceroy Simpson says check it out.

The Eastside Viceroy and His Majesty arrive at the Petaluma Kitchen

His Majesty and Viceroy Simpson heal the Eastside-Westside rift.

Sir John Records welcomes His Majesty and Viceroy Simpson

Sir John informs the Viceroy that his fly is open.