January 28th, 2009 07:00pm
by Emperor.Norton
asphalt, asphalt, everywhere, and not a drop to drink
His Majesty hasn’t seen the papers for a while. And his laptop was confiscated, and he couldn’t get on the internet. Did Mr. O’Bama make it into the White House yet? Everything straightened out on the economy? Guess Bush is doing public service clearing brush in Texas. You know. …
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January 18th, 2009 10:00am
by Emperor.Norton
In which His Majesty congratulates a fellow head of state.
Somewhere in Texas…
Somewhere in Texas a village is about to get it’s idiot back. You can do a great deal of damage if you let a bull run rampant in a china shop for eight years. For many years the Middle Class Jetliner has been hit by flocks of birds, from Ronald Reagan, to the neocons, the …
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January 17th, 2009 01:00am
by Emperor.Norton
Thanks for the driver’s license, Mr. Schwartzenegger.
The DMV is in the news a lot lately, what with the budget hysteria, cuts in service, furloughed employees, warnings in the papers about lower levels of service. Chris Smith’s column in the Press Democrat commented on it recently. And Petaluma360’s own blogger Colleen Rustad chronicled her experience there at the eastside temple of teenage rite of passage. (read it …
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January 11th, 2009 02:10am
by Emperor.Norton
Ode to 2009…ahem….
Oh 2009! How do I fear thee? Let me count the ways.
subprime mortgage, foreclosure, store closure, unemployment, employment, outsourcing, Enron, Blackwater, Bush/Cheney Legacy, Derivatives, Lehman Brothers, AIG, War Without End, Motown (not the music), Bailout, taxes, tax cuts, health care costs, abscence of health care, trickle down economics, FOX News, price of gas, price of eggs, price of beer, caged chickens, spilled oil, …
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November 27th, 2008 10:10am
by Emperor.Norton
In which His Majesty turns his Ambrose Bierce Society membership card face down for a day.
At the urging of Mrs. Majesty each year, the family unlocks the attic door and invites His Majesty down to dinner. This, under the condition that His Majesty promises to ignore life as it really is and assume the mantle of optimism and good will toward his fellow humans. It …
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November 10th, 2008 02:30pm
by Emperor.Norton
In which His Majesty requests politely not to take it anymore.
Frank Simpson, the certified, appointed-by-His-Majesty Royal Pain In The Butt, posted a brilliant piece about the national and local economy. Jump on over to the Petaluma 360 blogs and bookmark Simpson’s Petaluma Involved Neighbors site and watch for more. The winds are blowin’ ill, folks, but the hurricane hasn’t even made landfall yet, so don’t think …
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November 8th, 2008 10:00am
by Emperor.Norton
In which His Majesty has to explain life to the humans again.
Emperors have little use for elections. Democracy gets in the way of the proclamations, if you know what we mean. The Corporatocracies like the United States of America feel the same way about elections. Thankfully the Kingdom of Petaluma is ruled by a monarch whose proclamations are followed to the letter [that’s what …
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October 26th, 2008 09:15am
by admin
In which His Majesty signs report cards for the Royal Council.
His Majesty’s still got his psychic powers…
The anti-Tiffany Rene hit piece arrived on schedule, just as His Majesty predicted it would. Just as the anti-Torliatt hit piece arrived from the Healy camp in the last election to amuse His Majesty, this one tickled His Majesty’s fancy. Although it was an obviously cheaply printed version and a …
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October 19th, 2008 09:45am
by admin
In which His Majesty helps Ms. Palin put lipstick on the White House guards.
Economics 101…
Finally, His Majesty understands economics. Here is the link to THE BEST DAMNED ECONOMICS COURSE EVER, timed appropriate to His Majesty’s attention span. His Majesty gets it muddled so easily, so has to go back to it from time to time for brush up. Check it out. Avoid …
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October 8th, 2008 03:00pm
by admin
In which His Majesty has tea with the Queen.
Suspensions have been popular of late. Mr. McCain was urgently needed in Washington to calm the economic hurricane crashing on our shores. So, patriot that he is, he voluntarily suspended his campaign for the presidency. No not permanently [though he would do well to remain in the Senate where his work is appreciated], just long enough …
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